KC Kids Connection – Tingzi
It was not long after Our Sweet Ayla’s passing to be with Christ that we started thinking about the possibility of adoption. We looked into the different avenues of adoption, and while none of them would be easy or soon we kept feeling the urge to keep moving forward. Financial strains were the primary obstacle that kept arising. This was very frustrating to me because this desire and even burning in our hearts should not be stifled because of an earthly material thing nor did I think it would ever go away. So we kept praying and looking to Him for guidance and the doors to be opened if this was His will. It has not been easy thus far nor will it be, but this is something that Doug, Jace, Corey, and me are committed to doing as a family. We are excited to grow our family and bring one of His children home to love and nurture as part of our forever family.
We have traveled across to the other side of the world to meet and bring home our beautiful daughter, Tingzi. She is such a happy, healthy, and beautiful little girl. A real blessing to our family. Since we have been back people ask us how our trip was and it’s hard to put it into words, but extraordinary! This entire journey has been ordained by God. (I well up with emotion and tears as I think about it all…) We took a leap of FAITH to even begin this adoption. What seemed as an impossible feat to obtain. We kept our faith and persevered through questionable and emotional times; and He has redeemed us. And we give Him all the glory!
We traveled with five other families to China and were able to make very special friendships with these beautiful families. We may have come from different parts of the US but we were all there because our hearts had fallen in love with a child clear across the world and wanted to make them a part of our families. We cried together, laughed together and shared worries, but most importantly shared this part of our adoption journey together. I miss our time in China and these families already. I hope we manage to stay in touch as these little ones grow. I look forward to seeing them all grow and change. I think it would be beneficial to keep them all in contact as they mature to help keep them connected to their heritage and that part of their lives.
I wish I could eloquently put into words just how magical, miraculous our feelings are for Tingzi. Friends that have adopted told me that my love for her would be the same as it was for Jace, but l had not experienced it yet. So as many of you now read this, you probably will not fully comprehend the depth and greatness of my emotions but I still feel compelled to share because it is such a magnificent state and beautiful feeling. When I look down into Tingzi’s eyes as I feed her or as I sing to her when I’m trying to put her to sleep, I feel as though I’m looking into a child’s eyes that is of me, as if I gave birth to her. I see all her beauty and the miraculous state of being in my arms for ME to be HER mother. I have even wondered, what does she think when she looks up into my eyes. What does she feel? Has she ever felt this love from anyone else before us? I can definitely tell you she is such a happy and alert baby. And we are spoiling her rotten! You should see how she lights up and laughs out loud when Jace entertains her. What a silly brother he can be. I hope they become the best of friends for life!
That was one very important thing that Ayla tried to teach me was to “live in the moment.” So very hard to do especially for my personality. But a lifelong lesson that I need and want to put at the forefront for my family.
I really want to take this time to thank KC Kids Connections and all of our friends and family for your prayers and support through this long journey of love and adoption. You each had a part in this journey in someway, and I hope your lives were touched and moved.